The Ugly Truth
by Melissa394
Summary: Darcy Lewis has just been recruited for a new job at S.H.I.E.L.D this was going to be one wild ride...
1. Chapter 1

**__****Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too**

**_Notes: I came up with this idea after watching the movie The Ugly Truth (which I love for some reason), I know there is no Darcy/Clint in this chapter but in the next one there will be loads. So enjoy and please comment on what you think :)_**

After Thor had landed in the middle of nowhere New Mexico and the Avengers had destroyed half of New York S.H.I.E.L.D had decided to recruit Erik selvig and Jane Foster for their astrophysics department in New York full time instead of part time like they had before but they obviously had no idea what to do about her.

Darcy sat in a secure location in some boring office hall the corridor was long and white so white that after staring at the wall opposite her for roughly five minutes or it could have been two her eyes started to hurt that she had to shut them. Not long after a voice echoed down the corridor and so scarily close to her she jumped a mile high "Miss Lewis" the voice echoed again this time opening her eyes Darcy stood up so fast it set her head spinning for a second, "I'm Agent Coulson" said the man who had a slightly boring voice he was small in height about the same height as Darcy maybe an inch taller, if you would please follow me we are ready for you now.

Darcy fell in step behind this Agent Coulson they walked down a lot of corridors the same as the one she was waiting in they turned down a different one every two steps it seemed but she honestly didn't know cause she lost count after the seventh left turn, eventually Agent Coulson stopped outside a door he opened it a indicated for her to go on in "After you Miss Lewis". Darcy step inside a integration room.

well it was bigger than an integration room but it look like one and unlike the corridors this room was dull and seemed to have no life at all. There were two people already sitting down at the table that was placed at the top of the room Agent Coulson left her side and went to take the third seat at the table, "Miss Lewis please take a seat" a man in a long black leather coat and an eye patch over his left eye said, Darcy did just that she was afraid to know what would happen if she didn't there was clearly no messing with these people they mean business. "Miss Lewis this is Agent Hill and Director Fury" Agent Coulson told her.

"Miss Lewis I'm sure you know the situation with Erik selvig and Jane Foster, now in a normal situation we would get you to sign a dis-closer form saying that you would not repeat any of this and let you live your life as before but there are a couple of reasons as to way this is not the case for you, Number one is that you have personal attachments to Erik, Jane and Thor and Number two is that due to huge protest against having you leave and the fact that Thor threatened to have the whole S.H.I.E.L.D facility thunderstruck and burned to the ground if we did that is the reason we have a formulated Job lined up for if you are willing to take it" The women with black hair and a shield suit on which was obviously Agent Hill blasted this information at all in one go that it took Darcy a couple of minutes to gather what they were offering her. "You want to give me a job because my friends threatened you, wow I feel sooo special" she replied sarcastically.

"we understand how it looks Miss Lewis but after what Miss Foster told us we could use you for the job but if you choose not to take this job we will have to ask you to end all ties with Mr selvig, Miss Foster and Lord Thor" Director Fury told her.

_Blackmail really?! A super-secret spy agency has resorted to black mail, wow really what was wrong with her today she normally wasn't this snappy but she was certain that it had something to do with the guy she had been causally seeing telling her he didn't want to have sex with her because she was to "fat" and then an hour later she had been hauled into a car to be taken to the S.H.I.E.L.D base and then blackmailed, yeah she was pretty sure that was it.  
"_What is the job?" she asked looking Director Fury in the eye.

"Basically the Avengers will be doing a lot of promotional work to win people over because destroying half of New York is not the way to do it, what we gathered from Miss Foster is that you have a way of selling yourself to people , making people see reason and understanding them when nobody else does which is why we would like to offer you the job of working with The Avengers making them more likable to the public basically you'll be the promotional manger and guide them in any interview and TV show they appear on" Director Fury said staring at her  
Darcy thought about this for a couple of minutes but this defiantly was not something she could make up her mind up on in a space of a couple of minutes.

"How long do I have to decide whether or not I take the job?" she asked  
"You have a week to make up your mind we do understand it's a huge offer and it means giving up your life as you know it, also it is a lot to take on but we do think that you're the right person for this job" Agent Coulson said in what she's pretty sure he would count as his nice voice but it was still boring.

"Miss Lewis if you would please follow me I will escort you out" this time Darcy followed Director Fury out of the exit of the S.H.I.E.L.D base and to a car waiting to drop her of at home

"We will pick you up in a week to hear your answer, we hope you'll consider it an great opportunity, good day Miss Lewis"  
"Nice to meet you Director Fury" She said back while climbing into the car  
_what was she going to do….This was going to be hard_

It was the day before S.H.E.L.I.D were going to pick her up and ask for her answer and she still didn't know what she was going to do. She started to pace around her small student apartment and weighing the pros and cons of offer.

Pros:  
She would get to see and talk to Jane, Erik and Thor nearly every day, She would get to live at the S.H.I.E.L.D 's home base were all the employs had to stay (which would be a hell of a lot better than the apartment), She'd get paid a lot of money (well she hoped she would anyone who worked with Tony Stark must) and Director Fury was right it is an amazing opportunity which she honestly would be crazy to pass up.

Cons:  
She would have to drop out of college leaving her degree hanging in mid-air her parents would be disappointed cause she'd have to tell them about dropping out of college after them paying all her fees for the last three years ( but it wouldn't be like she couldn't pay them back, but then they'll question where the money came from and she wouldn't be able to the them), she'd have to keep secrets from her friends and family and that was it.

Darcy couldn't think of any other Cons about taking the job so the pros did outweigh the Cons but it was still a lot to handle, The Avengers are mainly guys and she doubted that even Black widow would follow some 22 year old orders even if she was ask from the "Big Guns", Thor would have to be thought modern references and she had a feeling that Captain America would be in the same situation. She didn't know anything about the Black widow and Hawkeye so she really couldn't judge them but Tony Stark was going to be a hard one to handle she had watched enough interviews were it was clear that the man could not follow an order to save his life.

She decided it was best to sleep on it hoping that her mind would just automatically make up its mind when they asked for her answer tomorrow.

They called at 9:00 at next morning saying that Agent Hill would pick her up at 12:00 precisely so to be ready. Darcy had finally decided what she was going to do but at some point she knew she was most likely going to regret it. She got ready and in no time at all it was 12:05 and she was on her way to S.H.I.E.L.D in the back of a car driven by Agent Hill.

They walked down the same corridors to the same room and all three agents were sitting in the exact same place wearing the exact same clothes seriously did they ever change, the only thing different was the fact that she was wearing different clothes. "Miss Lewis we hope you have come to a decision" Director Fury inquired.

"I have Director and I would be honored to take the job but on the grounds that if I need _anything _and I mean _anything_ you would give it to me no question" she stated  
"Miss Lewis as long as what you need or want doesn't threaten the safety of the Earth we will be able to meet your request." Agent Hill said.

"Then I'm all yours" she said standing up and walking over to shake their hands as an informal sign of sealing the deal.  
"Welcome to the team Miss Lewis if would follow agent Coulson he will give you all the files informing you of everything you need to know" Director Fury said.

She said her goodbyes and thanks to Director Fury and Agent Hill and followed Agent Coulson down some more blindly white corridors to his office. "I am your boss Miss Lewis anything you need you contact me and no one else, you will also need this it has all the number's and contact details you need for the moment" he said while handing her a brand new high tech phone which Darcy could not her but stare at.

"This is all the information you need you have two weeks to look it over before you start and all the information you need for leaving your old life is in here, any questions?" he asked handing Darcy a large box and a small envelope.  
"Yeah, How the hell I'm I going to manage Tony Stark?" she asked


	2. Chapter 2

**__****Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too.**

**_Notes: I am quite happy with this chapter and hope everyone enjoys it. I'm sorry if you's don't like Clint but as much as I do love it I'm sick of Clint been the nice quite guy which is why I've given him this part for the story.(Clint and Darcy's phone call is the only thing taking from the movie in this chapter). Please review and enjoy :)_**

Darcy was glad she was given two weeks to go through all the stuff. She had decided to do what was in the envelope first, In there she found instructions on what to tell her friends and family and all the forms she needed to fill out for withdrawing from college. It had taken two trips to the college and a hell lot of running around to get that all done.

On Wednesday she called her parents with a scripted speech telling them that she had been given a wonderful job opportunity with a political company that has promised that it would only help her education. Her parents had not been happy with the news but had said they would support her anyhow. She hated lying to her parents but hopefully she could tell them the truth soon.

It was Thursday morning before she got around to opening the box of files, she had been nervous about opening it she was afraid about what she was going to read. The first file in the box was her job description and first assignment:

_Dear Miss Lewis,_

_We are glad to have you on bored. Your official job title is Promotional Manger and you will basically be assisting The Avengers in all promotions they part take in (with the acceptation of Tony Stark promoting himself and Stark industries, "I have my own monkeys for that"-Stark)._

_**Please note the following:**  
_  
_Clint Barton and Natasha Romonoff (Hawkeye and the Black Widow) might be called off Promotional duties to assist in S.H.E.I.L.D projects._

_Thor and Steve Rogers (Captain America) will have "History Classes" to bring them up to date but they have a lot to go through so it will be part of your job to keep up with how far they've studied so you can inform the studios producers ahead of time._

_Dr Bruce Banner (The Hulk) will not be doing any promotions for the safety of the public and himself but he is working with Dr Foster and Dr selvig so we have included his file for your benefit._

_Tony Stark… is well Tony Stark._

_We have included all their files alphabetically so you will know them before your first assignment. Enjoy reading._

_Sincerely,_  
_Director Fury._

Darcy put down the letter Director Fury had wrote to her. The letter alone was a lot to take in, she looked at the first assignment file and then at the clock "yep still too early for a drink" she mumbled to herself.

She started to read what her first mission (she felt like a super-secret spy saying it that way) was:_The day after you move into the headquarters we have organized all The Avenges and their significant others to meet you at 10:00 o' clock. You will have to call them to remind them of the meeting. It is your job to get to know them personally and keep them occupied for the day. You will be allowed leave the headquarters as long as you give me notice. Please note that Dr Banner will be joining the group for this session and that Thor and Tony Stark are not allowed to participate in any sort of drinking computation._

_Agent Coulson_

Yeah she needs that drink now. After getting a glass of Bulmer's she dived in head first to Dr Banner's file. The file included everything (even his love life) that had happened in his life up until the present day, she read a good few of the articles he had published pre-hulk and found them really interesting.

She watched all the footage from when Dr Banner hulked out and she honestly got scared of meeting him until she seen the footage of him on the helicopter. She could see how awkward, shy and uncertain he was about been there and been part of a team and that put her mind at ease. She could see that (if she chose) she had a lot of work to do to make Dr Banner feel like he definitely belonged in the team. Going through his file took her three hours so when she finished reading through the last couple of pages it was already 4:20.

The next file she opened belonged to Clint Barton the assassin that preferred to use a bow to a gun like some sort of modern day Robin Hood. His past had been interesting, she had a feeling S.H.E.L.I.D had left out a lot of his "work" and she did feel sorry for him while she was watching the footage of how he acted when he was Loki's minion. But that all changed when she got a look at the love life, It seemed he saw himself as some sort of Casanova with the ladies.

Agent Coulson had included a video (and a note saying "Just a small warning") of Clint Barton hitting on what it seemed to her like all the ladies in S.H.E.L.I.D. She knew that she was going to butt heads over everything with him. He was going to be hard work.

By the time she was done with Bruce Banner's and Clint Barton's files it was quarter to nine and she had taking down a lot of notes from the videos provided that she would need to cut down. She decided to have an early night so she could start earlier tomorrow and get more done. Just as she was settling into bed her phone giving to her from Agent Coulson rang.

"Hello Darcy Lewis" she answered

"Miss Lewis, glad you're still up, I have called to inform you that you apartment at the headquarters is ready and that I and a couple of S.H.E.I.L.D agents will be at your house on Monday the 22nd of this month at nine o'clock sharp to help you pack" The voice of Agent Coulson echoed through the phone.

"Wonderful I'll be up" Darcy told him before saying goodbye and hanging up. Getting help moving…. why she could get use to this. She set her alarm to wake her up at eight the next morning and fell asleep the instant her head hit the pillow.

She started working on the files at precisely 9:30 according to her clock. Natasha's file was next, she felt sorry for her been the only girl and having all those male ego's flying around but could she well that she could handle herself. She and Clint Barton were partners which is why they had both been recruited for The Avengers. Her past was classified and she was not granted access to it, and like Clint's file the "work" had obviously been edited.

Natasha's file was smaller than the other's so far so it only took her two hours to get through. The only footage she was given was of Natasha training and Darcy had to admit that she was awesome. She wondered if Natasha would like her because she didn't want to get on the wrong side of that woman.

The next file was Steve Rogers and was the biggest so far. It had everything about Captain America including whatever rumours and stories that had fabricated after he had disappeared. When she had read about Steve and a woman called Peggy Carter she took a note to research this woman when she had time. The footage of the Captain was a lot of propaganda they had him do during the war and then later of him and his soldier's fighting the "hydra agents" as they were called in the file.

The Captain's file took her four and half hours to get through. She looked in the box uncertain of starting Thor's file or not but was surprised to find it was the only file left. She turned the box inside out to make sure her brain wasn't playing tricks on her. But after deciding it wasn't she grabbed her phone and called Agent Coulson.

"Hello Agent Coulson speaking" he said

"Yes, Agent Coulson it's Darcy Lewis" she said back

"Miss Lewis how is the reading coming along?" he asked

"It was going well until I noticed Mr Stark's file was not in the box, where you aware of this?" she answered him honestly  
"I am aware of that, if you have finished the other files and footage we will send over Mr Stark's file's and have it left at reception for you tomorrow" he told her

"That would be great Agent Coulson" She thanked him and then hung up.

Looking at Thor's file she could see it was half the size of Natasha's so she started to read it. It had nothing she wasn't aware of all ready the only new thing was the footage of when he went to get his hammer from the S.H.E.L.I.D in New Mexico she had to admit the big guy kicked ass. She noted in her Diary to make a one on one meeting with Thor to find out more about him personally.

After words she spends an hour or two watching some useless Television before going to bed. Closing her eyes and thinking she was going to get a peaceful sleep until a disturbing thought enters her head _why did Agent Coulson say files!_

She found out exactly why the next morning. When she went down to collect the file she found that what she thought was one file was in fact three different boxes! _God dammit Stark! _She thought before hauling them up to her apartment_._

By next Wednesday night she had finally made it through the last of Tony's files and footage. She had nearly been to the breaking point reading half of his files and was thankful there wasn't more; she had to call Agent Coulson just to make sure.

On Thursday, she slept that's all she did. She slept, eat, showered and slept some more.  
On Friday she decided to make the phone calls to remind everyone of the meeting that was going to be on Tuesday. She looked through her phone just to make sure that she had all the numbers and found them all there. (Well, Tony's wasn't but Pepper Potts was, so she decided that was the only way to get through to him).

So she started by calling Pepper Potts. The phone rang twice before a women's voice answered.

"Hello Tony Starks phone, this is Pepper Potts speaking" a smooth women's voice from the other end answered.

"Hello Miss Potts, this is Darcy Lewis I'm not sure if Agent Coulson has informed you about me but I'm calling to remind Mr Stark of a meeting at S.H.E.L.I.D on Tuesday the 23rd of this month" Darcy informed Miss Potts hoping she sounded just as professional as she did in her head.

"Ah yes Miss Lewis, Agent Coulson has told me about you and I will have Mr Stark at the meeting, I have already cleared the day for him please note that he might be up to three hours or more late." Pepper told her while it sounded like she was typing on a computer or something.

"That is great Miss Potts, and will Mr Stark be bringing anyone with him?" She asked while taking down the details in her planner.

"Yes I will be attending with Mr Stark" she answered

"Wonderful, I will see you and Mr Stark on Tuesday then, goodbye" Darcy responded

"Goodbye Miss Lewis" Pepper said before hanging up

_That wasn't so bad she thought._She called Bruce Banner next. It rang a couple of times before it was answered.

"Hello" came a rough calm voice from the end

"Hello Dr Banner?" she asked uncertain if it was right person or not.

"Yes I'm Dr Banner" the voice answered.

"Dr Banner, my name is Darcy Lewis I am calling to remind you of the meeting you have to attend next Tuesday" she told him.

"Oh yes Miss Lewis Agent Coulson said you would be calling. I will be at the meeting don't worry and I won't be bringing anyone with me" he answered fast enough.

"That is good and if you do change your mind about bringing anyone with you please get my number from Agent Coulson and call me." She informed him

"I doubt I'll be changing my mind Miss Lewis but if I do I'll tell you right away" he said

"Great, I can't wait to meet you Dr Banner, good day" she finished off.

Dr Banner wished he luck with the rest of the calls and hung up. She decided she was going to like Dr Banner.

She called Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff next; both of the phone calls had been pretty much the same quick and simple. They had assured her they would be there on time. She never doubted they wouldn't.

She was surprised to see that Thor had his very own phone number. She clicked the call button and waited till he answered.

"HELLO!" came Thor's booming voice from the other end. It was so loud that Darcy almost dropped her phone.

"Thor its Darcy Lewis" she told him speaking normally.

"LADY DARCY! WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR CALL, I HOPE AGENT COULSON HAS BEEN TREATING YOU WELL? I ALSO HOPE YOU WILL FORGIVE ME IF I AM USING THIS MIGARDIAN DEVICE WRONG JANE TELLS ME NOT TO TALK SO LOUD BUT OF COURSE HOW WILL YOU HEAR ME?" Thor had rambled on for about five minutes.

"I'm glad your well Thor, its okay Thor I'm sure you'll learn how to use the cell phone properly soon. I'm just calling to remind you about the meeting on Tuesday and I assume you'll be bringing Jane with you?" she answered Thor. She moved far away from her already damaged ear before Thor answered again.

"YOU ASSUME CORRECTLY, JANE AND I WILL BE THERE! I HOPE THERE WILL BE DRINKS?" he asked.

"There might be drinks Thor… there might be. I can't wait to see you and Jane again. Goodbye." She finished off.

"GOODBYE LADY DARCY!" Thor exclaimed before Darcy hung up. She loved Thor, she did but she honestly did not know how Jane put up with him for such a long time.

She had one phone call left and she was glad she was nearly done. If it was up to her she would of just sent out an mass E-mail to everyone.

She found Clint Barton's number and dialled it hoping she would be done quick.

"Go for Barton" Clint answered the phone

"Hello Mr Barton-" Darcy started but was cut off.

"Wait I have to go save some helpless women from a useless book" Clint interrupted her.

She stayed on the phone but wasn't put on hold so she could her everything that was going on at the other end.

"Now listen up, lady, cause I'm

only gonna say this once

and it's just three little words.

No, they're not "I love you." Here it

goes... MEN. ARE. SIMPLE. We can

not be trained. All this "Men Are

From Venus" bullshit is a waste of

your time and money. You want to be a lonely hag, then

keep reading these stupid books.

You want a relationship, here's how

you get one: it's called a

Stairmaster. Get on it and get

skinny and get some trashy lingerie

because at the end of the day, all

we're interested in is looks. No

one falls in love with your

personality at first sight, they

fall in love with your tits and

your ass. And they stick around

because of what you're willing to

do with them. You want to win a man

over? You don't need ten steps. You

need one. And it's called a blowjob."

Darcy was starting to hate this guy, how could he say these things. Like he knew shit about it.  
She hears the poor woman he was abusing talk back to him.

"How dare you!

They've helped my personal life

more than –" the woman starts but doesn't get far.

What's your boyfriend's name,

princess? He asks her.

"I'm not seeing anyone right now

but –" he cuts her off again.

"My point exactly, Men don't fall in love. Men fall in

"want." We want things. We're

hunters and gatherers. We're the

same as we were when we were

cavemen and a gillion years of

evolution hasn't done squat. Trust

me, there was a Pamela Anderson of

cave women and all the cave guys

were trying to stick their dicks in

her. Now Lady, if you want to think

lust is the same as love, that's

fine, but you're delusional." He finishes off before telling the women he had to get back to his phone call. By this time Darcy was raging and the next lot of words come out of her mouth like word vomit.

"So you're saying men are incapable of love?" She cuts in before she can say anything.

"Did I burst your little Harlequin Romance bubble?" he asks smugly, which makes Darcy want to throw something at him.

"The only thing you burst is your credibility. Men are absolutely capable of experiencing love." She tells him.

"Okay, I'll bite. Who's the guy?" another question god who was this dude.

"What?" Darcy asks startled by the turn of events

"The guy, Mr Wonderful, the one who's so capable of love. Who is he? What's he like?" Clint asks sounding interested.

"Well, he's not like you, that's for sure." She answered thinking it was a good comeback.

"Thank you very much. Go on." He responded.

"He's smart...he's handsome but doesn't know it...He's successful, but in a job that means something. He loves red wine, classical music, Cary Grant movies..." she was kinda losing herself in a fantasy saying this.

"This is a guy in America, right? You're not calling from Europe or anything." He joked but Darcy didn't laugh.

"Are you interested in listening or not?" She asked knowing her voice was begin to sound angry.

"No, please go on. I'm loving this." He said chuckling a little pissing Darcy of more.

"He works out, not because he's vain, because it's healthy. He's socially liberal but fiscally conservative. He likes dogs but he's a cat person. He never gets out of bed before you on a Sunday morning –" She was cut off by Clint sounding very serious.

"Oh my god. You're a lesbian!" he exclaimed

"What?!" she asked in a shocked voice.

"Well, you're describing a woman." He stated as if it was a fact.

"Why are those qualities so threatening to you? Perhaps because your complete lack of any one of them is the real reason why women aren't interested in you. At least women of quality." She said back.

she knew she had got him good and there was a couple of seconds silence this time before he answered.

"Where is this guy? I will give you one hundred dollars of my own money to let me meet him." He says.

"Oh, he's out there...somewhere." she says dreamily

"Wait a second. You're not even dating this guy?!" he asks

"Well, no...I'm just describing a type...I thought that's what we were doing." She states.

She can hear Clint's barking laughter coming from the other end of the phone

"You don't even know him?!" he says trying to catch his breath.

Before she can speak again he cuts in.

"Hold on...whoa...now I get the whole picture. You're a dog." He states

Darcy was so angry know she swears she could see red.

"Excuse me?!" She says through gritted teeth trying to control her anger

"You heard me. You must be. If you were hot, you'd be out breaking some poor schmuck's heart instead of spending all your time fantasizing about Mr Wonderful. Face it, you're ugly!" he says starting to laugh again.

"I am not ugly!" she says louder than intended, she knew well she wasn't she was far from it.

"Well, of course you don't think so. Ugly people never know they're ugly. It's like people who have B.O. They never know it because they're surrounded by their own stench all the time." He states it again like it was a fact.

"That is the most ridic –" Darcy starts of but is cut off by Clint before she can get anywhere.

"Look, lemme help you out here. You might as well just face the fact that you're gonna be alone and stop pining away for some fantasy guy you're never going to get. Get a hobby. Build housing for the poor. Anything." He tells her.

"How could you possibly –" She starts again but is cut off by Clint again.

"Hey, Lassie – it's called The Ugly Truth. Who are anyhow?" he asks

"I'm Darcy Lewis, The Avengers promontial Manger. I'm calling to remind you about the meeting on Tuesday, I do _**not**_look forward to meeting you!" she says before hanging up.

Darcy was furious after that phone call. How could he say those things, she just wanted to rip his head off. The phone call had been the longest one and had lasted half an hour. She decided to go watch some shitty rom-com to get her mind of Clint _fucking _Barton.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too._**

**_Notes: First off I had to take down the 10 things I hate about you story I was writing because it wouldn't let me upload any new chapters, I am still writing it and when I am done with this story I am going to up load it._**

**_There is no Clint in this chapter and this chapter took me a long time to write just because I wasn't in the frame off mind to write it(so it's not good) but I have it done and the next chapter will have a lot and I mean a LOT! of drama and Clint and a plot :P it will also be up by Saturday or Sunday I hope._**

**_Thank you everyone for following me and for reviewing and if anyone would like to throw an idea at me for this story please do and I can see if I can work it into the story._**

**_Thanks for waiting patiently, Please review and enjoy :)_**

Darcy just had the weekend to pack; she decided to sort her stuff into two categories, what she needed and what she wanted. Any family valuables or anything of importance to her she had went into the need pile, everything else went into the other pile.

In all honesty it was the cleanest the apartment had ever been. And that was saying something because she liked things clean and in order, she never looked like the kind that did, but people learned quickly that she did. Looking after Jane had been a nightmare at times but nothing she couldn't handle.

By Saturday everything was in neat piles and ready to be packed by S.H.E.L.I.D on Monday. She spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday planning on how to keep a group of very different people in order. She came up with a few good ideas but they weren't good enough. She racked her brain for a good idea that should go off without a hitch. She decided to take Thor's advice about the drinks and called a local bar in her area that was quiet and she knew they wouldn't be hounded by the press and made reservations.

And on top of that she had forgotten about a blind date her friend Eimear had set her up for that night. In the end she only had an hour to get ready for it, she could have skipped it but with the way her love life was going she didn't really have a choice.

She gets to the restaurant which is a nice little place not too busy and cramped, after walking in the door she turns to the hostess "Hi. I'm looking for a guy with sandy brown hair, athletic build, and blue eyes... he's 5'9 which - I know what you're thinking - it's a little short, but he's read The Great Gatsby twice, so we'll just live with it, okay?" She knows she's going off, but it's just the nerves, she really isn't good at this dating thing.

"Technically, I'm 5'9 and 3/4." said a mellow voice from behind her. She sees the man from the picture her friend sent her along with a whole pile off information on him and decides that he is better looking in person. She feels the embarrassment on her cheeks and knew that they were slightly red. "But I'll read Gatsby again if that makes it any better." He said with a smile.

"Hey. Hi. Hey." She stuttered something she did often when embarrassed. She wished that the date had gotten off to a better start; they thanked the hostess after she showed them to the table. After sitting down and looking around she notices that they aren't at a great table, "You know what? This is not the best angle. We should get the table over there. Then we both get a view, instead of one of us looking at the busboy station." She tries to casually say to him so that she doesn't freak him out.

"I'm fine here." He says a little coldly.  
"No, trust me. It'll be better over there." She replies ignoring his tone and the look he has just given her. Eventually they move and she relaxes a little more know that she is comfortable. A waiter comes over to ask it they would like some water. "Bottle of flat, please." Her date says.  
"You know, they've done studies that show tap water is no different from bottled water. And they passed a law recently to have all restaurants filter their tap water. So, technically it's not tap water." She states.

The date went completely sown hill from there. He had ordered scotch and downed it in one gulp. This made her feel like crap. The end of the night was the worst part, he had driven her home and when she suggested another date he jump into his car in such a rush to get away from her that her skirt got caught in the car door and pulled of her when he speed away. Leaving her to walk up to her door alone and in her underwear. She just fell into bed, she never bothered crying anymore. There was no point.

She decided to take Thor's advice about the drinks and called a local bar in her area that was quiet and she knew they wouldn't be hounded by the press and made reservations. On Sunday she gave up on trying to decide on what to do for the rest of the day and called Thor, she spent an hour and a half on the phone to him, talking about everything they possible could. Thor then surprised her by putting Jane on the phone and she swered she could not of loved him more in that moment.

Jane put them on speaker and she spent another two hours talking to them. She told her worries about the job but they assured her she was the person for it. Jane told her what it was like working with Bruce and how Tony Stark would pop in sometimes just to annoy them. Thor said that he loved having Steve, Clint and Natasha as friends at the mention of Clint's name Darcy started off in a long rant that lasted a good half an hour about how she couldn't stand the man and she explained everything to them.

Thor had laugh and said that was just Clint and that she would get used to it very fast, very soon. Jane had said he was great with kids and didn't harassed any women that was in a relationship and very nice and friendly to them. None of this however changed Darcy's mind about him and eventually Jane and Thor gave up trying to convince her.

They said goodbye soon after that not because they had run out of stuff to talk about but because Thor had got an avengers call and him and Jane had to go off to some meeting. She felt better about the whole thing after that call and it had also given her the perfect idea on how to keep them entertained for the day.

She fell into an easy sleep despite how nervous she felt. She woke up in a panic! Like really what the hell was she doing, she couldn't control a pile of superhero's, she was a 23 year old that was not trained for this in any way. WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING! She had grabbed her phone and almost dialled Agent Coulson's number to tell him she quits before she calmed down. She checked her phone and could see that it was eight o' clock there was really no point in going back to sleep her nerves had decided to kick it up to Asgard and beyond.

She called her parents at nine and talked to them about how she felt and it calmed her down a bit. But what really calmed her down was Agent Coulson informing her that she could call him Phil!  
S.H.E.L.I.D turned up at the exact time and Darcy let them in she told them what needed to be packed and what didn't and they got to work straight away. She and Phil sat talking and she successfully made him smile twice.

He asked what she had planned and she explained it to him, he thought it was a brilliant idea and said he could not wait to see what hilarity came out of it. She got her permission to leave the premises with a warning that if anything went wrong her job would be on the line.

They left her apartment at half two and she was on the way to a new life.  
"Are you really that nervous?" Phil asked her a little concerned it took Darcy a moment to realize she was shaking.  
"Yeah I guess I am, I mean if I screw up people will start to hate The Avengers even more and then they would all hate me and I don't want that. I just wanted to finish my degree and get some llow paying job for a shitty campaign company and have a happy life and oh my god I'm never going to have time to get a boyfriend or even look at a man or….." She heard some weird sound that sound oddly like a cat been strangled coming from beside her and it turns out Agent Phil Coulson is a boss that just laughs at his employees break downs.

Darcy started to laugh along as well and soon Phil was telling her about his first day at S.H.I.E.L.D and how he nearly burned down a room by trying to make Director Fury Coffee. By the time she got to S.H.E.L.I.D she was calm and collected and positive she wasn't going to freak out again, but that was before she stepped out of the jeep.

In front of her stood a tower that only a couple of months ago had been all over the news for two very different reasons. The first been that it was the first buliding ever to be powered by substable energy and the second been that it had been wrecked due to the "loki invasion" as she liked to call it.

"I thought we were going to the S.H.E.L.I.D base" she asked after a couple of moments of gaping up at the tower.  
"Oh no, Only Agents live on the base, but anyone In The Avengers or working with The Avengers live in the tower" Agent Coulson replied calmly.

"So I'm going to be living in the same building as everyone?" Darcy asked a little wary.  
"No, you'll be living with them. The top two floors are where you'd live" Agent Coulson replied calmly.  
"So who exactly lives on the floor's?" she asked shocked that this was actually happening.  
"Well on the very top floor you have Tony and Pepper in one room, Steve, Bruce, Erik and Natasha. On the second you have Clint, Thor and Jane in one room, Dr Jenner, Me and now you. We all have to use the kitchen on the first floor and the living room is on the second." Agent Coulson finishes while swiping a card granting them access to the ground floor.

"The other Agents will drop your stuff of to your room and I'll show you where it is soon but first we have a meeting with Director Fury and Agent Hill."  
She is still in shock and doesn't say anything she just follows Agent Coulson to the meeting room. It's a big room with a wide, round table in the middle. She sat down and Agent Coulson took a seat next to her and then Agent Hill and Director Fury walked in and sat across from them.

They didn't take long in the meeting, they just conformed everything was okay with her living in the tower and that she had everything planned for the following day, They also handed her the I.D she'd be using and her room key and explained to her that The Avengers were out on a mission but they would be ready for tomorrow. Afterwards they escorted her to her room. "Miss Lewis I hope you find everything in your room to your satisfaction" Director Fury said. They bid her far well at her door and left her to let herself into her room.

She felt nervous opening the door; she just stood there looking at the door for a good couple of minutes, slowly after what seemed like forever she put the key into the keyhole and turned the door handle. She stepped into her room and calling it a room was an understatement. She closed the door behind her and did about seven double takes, the room was like more a very expensive apartment and for some reason reminded her very much of Monica's apartment in friends. Maybe it was just the living area in general that did because her kitchen and Living room were going into one another and was massive.

No matter how hard she tried her mouth just kept gaping open at pretty much everything in her apartment. When she opened the door to her bedroom she squealed, there in the middle of the room was a king-sized bed a massive king-sized bed! She ran at the bed and with a leap she bounced on it and then off it again _well that was fun! _She thought sarcastically and chuckled at her own joke.

Over in the corner of the room (which was also massive) was all her boxes piled up. She looked at her clock and saw that it was already four-thirty, she unpacked all her boxes and organized everything in her apartment by the time she had that done it was ten past seven. She picked up her folder which she had dropped on the floor when she leaped on the bed and looked through everything on last time. She grabbed the brand new laptop she had been issued by S.H.E.L.I.D and sent everyone an reminder e-mail.

After all that it was only quarter to eight and she felt that despite how tiered she was it was too early to go to sleep. So her brain came to the decision to take a walk around and explore the first two floors of the tower.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too._**

_**I am sorry for the wait but the good news is that I have two new chapter's for you guys and I hope you enjoy them.**_

**_And I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and have followed this story about 50 of you guys have which means a lot so thank you and I am sorry about my spelling and grammar I know it's not the best but when I have time I will be correcting everything._**

**_Next chapter will be up soon. :) XxX _**

Darcy put on a pair of jeans and a top and headed out the door. All the doors to each person's quarters had their names printed outside, across from her was Phil and beside her were Jane and Thor she wondered if that was a good or bad thing.

Around the comer at the top of the corridor were Dr Josh Jenner and Clint Barton's bedrooms. About Five feet away from Clint's bedroom was the door going through to the living room. Darcy made her way to the double swinging doors, when suddenly not knowing exactly how it happened she ended up on the ground with a damp towel on top of her and a naked man in front of her.

Looking up and trying not to make eye contact with the one-eyed trouser snake staring back at her. She manages to get out a "Hi I'm Darcy" without feeling to embarrassed. Picking up his towel and having really red cheeks he causally replies with a "Hi I'm Josh Jenner" and after wrapping the towel back around him, he offers her a hand up with the other hand holding tightly onto the towel.

"Ah yeah you're the Doctor, right?" she asks trying not to lose her breath in his Gorgeous brown eyes  
"Yes I am, and I'm not been mean or anything but if you let me get changed and take a seat in the living room I'll be right back" he says while flashing her a smile which made her almost fall to the ground again.  
"Sure no problem" she smiles back.

He leaves the room and she goes and takes a seat on the massive sofa she didn't think they came that big but what she did think was she had just meet the man of her dreams. Josh was completely ripped he actually looked like a supermodel and he had the rare combo of killer blond hair and brown eyes. She was still daydreaming about him when he returned five minutes later, "I'm really sorry about that, Darcy was it?" came Dr Jenner's voice from behind her snapping her out of whatever kinky daydream she had running threw her mind.

"Yeah it was….. It is….. I mean…. Hi I'm Darcy Lewis promotional manger to The Avengers, Nice to meet you" she mumbles sticking her hand out for him to shake it.  
"Nice to meet you to Darcy, I'm Dr Josh Jenner Doctor to The Avengers" he flashes that smile again and she has to sit down.  
He sits down beside her and they relax back into the sofa,  
"So how come you're not using the bathroom in your room?" She asks and quickly feels bad because his cheeks are turning red again.  
"Let's just say I said something to Tony and it offended him and since that day nothing in my room has worked which is why I have to use the showers in the gym which is just through those doors there" he said indicting the doors behind them.

They stayed there talking about random things till she looked at her watch and noticed the time.  
"Oh My God is it really 10:30? I'm sorry Josh but I better be going I have a very long day tomorrow" She says while standing up and heading towards the door.  
"Wait let me walk you to your room?" he asks looking a little shy and Darcy couldn't help but think it was the cutest thing she's ever seen.  
"I'd like that" she says while smiling shyly back at him.

They walked in silence down to her room and she found herself wishing the walk was longer.  
They reached her door and before she could say anything he handed her a card, "My number is on there if you need anything at all" he states.  
"Okay, thanks Josh" She replies  
She waved at him before entering her room. The only thing she could thing of going to bed was that Clint Barton could eat his own words.

_*Clint's pov*_

They got back early enough form the mission this time it was about 12ish and everyone was currently doing their de stressing stuff, which for Clint, Thor, Phil and Tony meant a short game of poker and a look through their fan mail. This time they were tackling Clint's fan mail which he was not in the mood for.  
"Dear Hawkeye, I know I'm the girl who can change you and make you fall in love. Here's a photo of me and my iguana." Thor said reading out a letter and trying his best to make his deep voice sound like a girl's

Phil was looking at the photo for a couple of seconds before he said  
"I thought iguanas only liked dry places." He starts to laugh at his own lame joke and passes the photo to Tony.  
"We might need to call animal control on this one." Tony laughs almost falling of his chair.  
"Guys, enough with the fan mail." He says getting more pissed off by the minute.

"What? My friend, you don't want to add her into your rotation?" Thor questioned in a serious manner making Tony laugh harder

"Uh, no. Thor I don't" he replies getting lost in thought about this Darcy Lewis they were going to meet tomorrow Thor had told him a bit about her, maybe he had been a little hard on her over the phone but hey that was the truth

"What about the tranny? He seemed nice." Phil said trying to be serious but ending up bursting out laughing and joining Tony on the floor. Clint gave them a look and Tony sat up trying to compose himself before saying.

"And he went to all the trouble to knit you that cock-sock." Thor chuckled this time. He just rolled his eyes and deals the cards.  
"Can we just play poker?" he asks  
_  
*Darcy pov*  
_Her alarm went off at eight o' clock, she got up straight away and went for a shower, before dressing herself she packed up everything she would need for the day. She got dressed in her usual clothes she preferred comfort to begin dressed up. She put on a plain white t-shirt a red cardigan and blue jeans and red converse.

At quarter to ten she was in the room that had been set up. She took her seat at the top of the room and waited for The Avengers, The first person that turned up was Steve Rogers he was tall and even better looking than in the pictures. She stood up and walked over to him. "Mr Rogers it's a pleasure to meet you"  
"No Miss Lewis the pleasure is all mine, anyone willing to deal with us earns high grades in my book" He replies and then flashes a smile at her, He might not of aged physically but you could tell by his eyes that he was out of his time.

"Call me Darcy and please take a sit anywhere" she tells him. Not to her surprise he sat up in front ready to give her his full attention.  
"How are you fitting in Darcy?" Steve asked while she walked up and found a piece of paper and crossed Steve's name of it.  
"I only got here last night, but so far it's good and it's-" she answers  
"A lot to get used to, yeah I know that feeling" he says his voice going a little sad.  
Darcy didn't bother to answer but she gave him a small smile instead. The next people to turn up were Natasha and Bruce together who's greetings went the same as Steve's and they were followed by Thor and Jane both who gave her big hugs. Thor actually picked her up and held her there for a good couple of seconds.

The only people left were Clint and Tony. Clint strolled in and went right up to her and shook her hand before she even got a word out. "Mr Barton, nice for you to join us" She said very conscious that she sound like a school teacher.  
"No problem Darcy, you can call me Clint" he said going over and taking a seat beside Thor. His face had been set the whole time and hadn't changed which Darcy found a little nerve reckon. Even though Clint was wearing sunglasses she still felt like he was boring holes in her but every time she looked at him he was either in a conversation with Thor or Jane.

After about five minutes she decided to start the meeting knowing Tony wouldn't be there for a while and that it had been an hour since she showed up it was probably best. "Okay hello everyone thank you for coming, not that you really had a choice" she started off and seeing that everyone but Clint and Natasha who smiled laughed it was a good start.

"Well today I have to entertain you for the day so here's the pla—"  
BANG!  
Darcy suddenly stopped speaking and almost jumped through the roof.

*_Clint's pov*_

BANG!  
He and Natasha didn't jump and he quickly looked a Banner who looked a little scared but no were near hulking out and he could see that Natasha had him calming down as well. He turned his attention back to Darcy who looked a little scared. Steve was looking pissed and he could see why. Tony had opened the door so hard that the glass had cracked, He had ignored Darcy and had went straight over to Bruce and was all up in his face looking at him before saying, "Hey Doc you're looking a little green there" Bruce just laughed and playfully pushed him away.

"Hello Miss Lewis, I am Tony Stark, I need no introduction but my girlfriend insists that I give one" Tony says while looking Darcy up and down.  
"It shows that your nice Tony and nice to meet you Darcy" Pepper says joining them  
"Nice to meet the both of you please have a seat I was just getting started" Darcy replies.  
"Yo BARTON! I thought you said she was ugly, you lied to me" Tony yelled at him taking the seat next to him.

"I was wrong Stark it happens sometimes" he replied smoothly and was glad he could see a little red on Darcy's cheeks. Darcy went on about what they were going to do for the rest of the day. He didn't know what it was but Darcy was beautiful and would be right sexy if he could get his hands on her, not to sleep with her, he had ruined any chance of that with the conversation they had but to give her a makeover. It had taking all his effort not to turn into a bumbling idiot and apologize in front of everyone, so he decided just to keep playing the jerk he was there was no point in changing that.

The activity she had planned was honestly a brilliant one but he had snorted at it just so he kept on her bad side and in that moment he thought she was going to punch him, did she really hate him that much? They were divided into groups and giving tasks to see who was the best team and the reward was that the team who one got to drink when they went to dinner.

He was in a group with Pepper, Thor and Bruce and they had the upper hand in everything which pissed Tony of to no end. In the end Clint's team won five out of the seven tasks so his team got to drink and he knew that the first thing he was going to do when he got there was buy Darcy a drink as well. He didn't know what was wrong with him but he needed her to look at him like he wasn't a piece of shit.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too._**

**_Again I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and have followed this story about 50 of you guys have which means a lot so thank you and I am sorry about my spelling and grammar I know it's not the best but when I have time I will be correcting everything._**

**_Also do you guys like having Clint's pov's or should I just stick with Darcy's?_**

**_Next chapter will be up soon. :) XxX_**

They left the tower at five and got to the restaurant/pub at seven. It was a good night everything went really well there was no fights, Jane had stopped Thor from drinking too much, Clint had tried to by her drinks all night but she declined for two different reasons.

#1. She wanted to observe and get to know everyone and not make a fool out of herself which happened a lot when she drank too much. She learned a lot from the night, Bruce and Natasha got on really well and she couldn't help but notice that he was really relaxed with her. Jane and Thor weren't all over one another like she thought they would be but spend the whole night talking and laughing with everyone. Tony and Pepper she had just thought their relationship was for the camera but the way he looked at her like nothing else mattered made Darcy's heart melt. Clint and Steve were close friends and played darts and pool most of the night.

#2. If Clint wanted to say sorry it was going to be in word form not any other way. She might have avoided him as much as she could all night but did talk to him once or twice.

She got to know everyone well and they all said how much they enjoyed the night and Tony wanted to help plan the next one so they could make it as he called it "Starktastic". She liked Tony no matter how annoying he was she wished she had him as a father cause that would be pure awesome. She grew up with a step dad that had been there since she was two so just simply called him dad but her parents had been open about all of it and had told her that it was better off for her and her biologic dad that they didn't know one another and she never questioned it.

They all said goodnight to one another at the tower and wished Darcy good luck on her next task of making them public worthy. Before she went to bed that night she had a knock on her door, part of her wished it was Josh but it was just Phil telling her she was to meet him in his office tomorrow to de brief about the night and get her next task at eleven.

She wished him a good night and went to bed. She stayed up writing about the night in her journal and adding notes to the already long list of observations on the team. She fell asleep with papers all over her bed; she got a wakeup call from Phil at nine reminding her that the meeting was in two hours' time.

She got changed and went to the kitchen on the top floor while passing Josh's room she wondered whether or not she should call him, Tony was eating a couple of slices of toast when she walked in, It was the first time she seen the kitchen and at this point there wasn't any point at been surprised at how big it was, she literally could fit her parents' house in it.  
"Morning Darce, how's it going?" Tony asked seeming really chirpy.  
"It's going good Tony, you seem really chirpy this morning" she states  
"Well you would too if you got laid three times last night" he says leaving the kitchen.  
"God Stark I didn't need to know that!" she yells at his laughing back shuddering before pouring her tea.

She made her way down to Phil's office with five minutes to spare. She waited until he called her in,  
"Hi Darcy how is it going?" he asked  
"It's going well, people seem to be asking me that a lot this morning" She says smiling back at him.  
He smiled at her before saying "Well yesterday went well don't you think?"  
"I do actually and I hope everyone enjoyed the night" she answered honestly.  
"I assure you that they did and since you made it so enjoyable you can help Tony plan his next party" he says with a serious face.

"Did Tony tell you to say that?" She asks  
"He might of but that is classified" He replies with such a serious face that she bursts out laughing.  
"Here is your next task, they all have separate interviews set up each with a different channel that take place in the next two weeks" he said handing her quite a bulky file.  
"Why aren't they doing group interview's?" she asks confused.  
"We don't feel that they are ready to be thrown in the spotlight together at the moment" he says honestly.

"Okay, when is the first interview for?" she questions wondering how long she had with each to prepare them.  
"Eh, the first interview is with Channel five at seven o' clock in two days and it's for Natasha" he states.  
"Okay Phil I think I can work with that, is there anything else?" She asks standing up eager to get started on the task.  
"No that's it" he says standing to shake her hand before she leaves.

The next two weeks fly by for her and even though it sounds stressful she had fun with making sure that everyone got to the studio's in time and that the interview goes smoothly. So far the only major incident was with Thor and the cooking segment on the show, the glasses they were using were to breakable to his touch so he ended up drinking the wine out of a mug instead.

She had a meeting with the person doing the interview the day before so they could go over what they were going to be doing on the show. The meeting were roughly and hour and a half and they would work for half an hour and then just talk or play games for the next hour. She would spend her lunch times with Jane and Bruce in the labs and Tony would normally join them. She and Tony would do their best to distract them before they kicked them out of the lab all together.

She was supposed to have her meeting with Clint today but he was called away on duty. So she was just wondering around the tower hoping that because he still had the interview the next day he wouldn't do anything stupid. So far she had been keeping The Avengers family friendly which is hard with Tony on the team but he had done a really good job. Clint's interview was going to be a different one because she didn't trust him enough not to be him. She was meeting him at the studio tomorrow and hoped he would be awake after the mission.

The next day when she got out of talking with the producer Clint was there goofing with the pretty makeup girl, She walks up to give him some last minute tips.  
"Keep it clean, keep it moving, and stick to the script. You're on a live affiliate network news program. You do not have the luxury of using the words "blow" and "job" in the same sentence. If you say anything scatological, you're fired." She tells him off hoping it would do some good.  
"Really? Because I thought you were gonna get fired if you don't keep me happy. I've got a list of demands to go over after the show. And let me just warn you - they're gonna be scatological." He retorts back with a smug smile which leaves her fuming and jabbing the earpiece in his ear.

"Just because you look pretty today, I won't mention the misguided phallic rage you just displayed." He says smugly again knowing that it pisses her off.  
"If you hear my voice in your ear, do what I say." She says ignoring him and speaking into her earpiece.  
"Promise you'll talk dirty?" He asks and she rolling her eyes she just walks over to the producers waiting for the show to start.

*_Clint's pov*_

They were having him do a segment called The Ugly Truth and he was filling in for the guy Mike? They said his name was for the show and had giving him the script which was okay but he decided to surprise everyone and do something different.

The camera man was counting down till he was live in front of him he hoped he wouldn't fuck this up too much.

"Hello I'm Clint Barton marksman for The Avengers filling in for Mike Alexander and this is The Ugly Truth, where a few minutes every day we talk about men, women and relationships. Let's start with men. Men are simple. To illustrate my point - on my left we have the best our world has to offer."

He crosses to - a candle-lit table with a fancy dinner placed in the centre. Several books rest beside it. Beside the table, a man plays violin.  
"You have a gourmet meal, fine wine, classical music and great literature. He picks up a copy of Ulysses from the table and throws it away before saying "Now, if you'll follow me we have something quite different..."

He starts to walk off the set and could not help but smile at Darcy's shocked face. He can hear her in his earpiece ask the producer where the hell he was going and to follow him.  
He exits the stage door and walks into the alley, followed by the confused camera crew.

"Ah, I see you ladies have started without me." He smiles at two blonde twins in bikinis, who wrestle in a kiddie pool of Jell-O. He pretty sure his smile widens at the anger he can hear in Darcy's voice.  
"Who let them on the lot? Don't you have security?" she asks trying to keep her voice down from the sound of it. Clint turns and smiles to the camera.  
"Babes wrestling in Jell-O. Let's just take a quick survey and see which option the men out there would pick." He asks the public well the men.

"Do you have phone lines? Open them!" Darcy voice rings in his ear he ignores it and just keeps speaking  
"Beethoven, stuffed pheasant and James Joyce - or semi-naked chicks frolicking in strawberry-flavoured goo." He questions the public again while sitting on the edge of the kiddie pool.  
"Jesus Clint, if we're gonna do this, we might as well milk it." Comes Darcy's defeated voice from his ear.  
"Two, go wide! Good. Ready, one - tight on his hand!" the producer says

"Lick the Jell-O off her finger!" Darcy tells him. He knows he has a slightly puzzled look on his face, but he lifts the girl's finger and licks the Jell-O off it.  
"Go one!" Say's the producer. The camera focuses tightly on his face and he looks right into it  
"Mmmm...I was wrong. It's cherry. And that's the ugly truth. Over to you, Georgia." He gets in before he waves to camera and pulled into the Jell-O pool while the girls rip off his shirt.

*_Darcy pov*_

They sat in silence most of the way back to the tower, Clint was still covered in a lot of Jell-O and she had been giving a warning from the shows manger that if their rating were effected in any way they were going to sue them.

"Your realize they once had the Archbishop Desmond Tutu on that show." She finally burst while they are in the elevator bringing them up to Darcy's office (They had given he one four days ago and she was thankful her room was no longer covered in papers)  
"Who's that?" Clint asks. She rubs her temples out of anger.  
"I can't even illustrate how far I've fallen, because you're not smart enough to get the references." She says while walking out of the elevator. Confused by her reaction, he follows.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too._**

**_This chapter is almost completely taken from the movie and the next one will be too just because these are my favorite scenes in the movie and I love the dialog and I am trying to make them my own as well so I hope you enjoy it and please review._**

**_Next chapter will be up tomorrow. XxX_**

"C'mon, we were a good team back there. You were the one who told me to lick the Jell-O." Clint said stopping dead outside her office door.  
"Do you have any idea how much I hate myself for that?! It was cheap titillation. I am now going to promotional hell right behind Geraldo and the naked weather girl from Canada." She asks him the rhetorical question  
"Seriously? There's a naked weather girl? Can I get her?" Clint asks with wide eyes before she slams her office door in his face

The next day she was looking over the ratings from the show Clint had did and the numbers for The Avenger's while sitting in the lab with Jane and Bruce.  
"I should be happy about this, shouldn't I?" She asks in a defeated voice  
"Uh, yeah, the show has never gotten a twelve share before and The Avengers likability is up 24%" Bruce sates while looking up from his papers and pointing his pen at her.

"I feel so dirty." She says while banging her head of the table which hurt a little and causes Jane to give her a lousy pat on her back before turning back to her work. She leaves afterwards because Jane and Bruce have started to work on the top secret stuff and she wasn't allowed see. She had no work to do because she normally finished by lunch time but she was heading back to her office to pick up the paper's for Steve's next interview. When Clint approached her.

"You hear about the ratings?" Clint asked leaning against her office door  
"Yes..." she said trying to ignore him the best she could.  
"And did you hear Corporate's coming next week to take me to dinner? Why do you hate my guts?" Clint asked suddenly throwing her of guard.  
"Corporate? Your innards are of no consequence to me. I hate what you represent." She tells him.

"Yeah Corporate, yeah know the people higher than Fury, You hate the truth?" Clint asked  
she decided to ask Phil about the corporate thing later and answered his question while sitting down. "Your skewed perception of male- female interaction is not "the truth"." She shot him a look as well  
"But your imaginary boyfriend's the truth?" Clint questioned smugly while spinning around on her visitor's chair

"For your information, I happened to meet him when I moved in." She tells him  
"I really hope he's real this time, because otherwise this is just sad." He said looking her in the eye  
"Oh, he's very real. Not to mention stunningly handsome and morally sound. His name's Josh."  
"The doctor? Ha". Clint chuckled  
"An orthopedic surgeon, actually." She tells him  
"You know what that means?" Clint asks  
"What?" she answers

"He had to stick his finger up some guy's butt in medical school." He laughs throwing a sweet from her sweet bowl in his mouth  
"You disgust me." She tells him throwing a piece of rolled up paper at him.

"So, did butt-boy ask you out?" he asks sitting up straight looking like he was interested.  
"Not exactly. We're taking things slow - getting to know each other first. Why am I talking about this with you?" she asked suddenly confused  
"You're the one who brought it up." He sates pissing her off a little

"Dr Jenner is everything that you could never be. In fact..." She takes Josh's card from her wallet, dials the number, then – speaking into the phone  
"Hi, this is Darcy Lewis calling for Dr Jenner. Yes, I'll hold."

"You're calling the guy?! You can't do that. You've gotta let him call you." He tells her shocked  
"Please. It's the twenty-first century..." She tells him sticking her tongue out at him for the fun of it.  
"Hi Josh. This is Darcy. Your neighbour. From two weeks ago." She says into the phone afraid he would of forgotten her.  
"Oh, hi. Everything okay?" Josh asks sounding very like a doctor

"Couldn't be better. I just wanted to call and tell you how much I enjoyed meeting you." She tells him  
Clint picks up the extension and listens in. Darcy glares at him, but she can't stop him.  
"Oh, thanks." Josh's voice echoes through the phone.  
"So... I was just thinking that we should have dinner." She says nervously.

"Oh... great." Josh says and she feels a little better. Clint shakes his head, like it was going wrong.  
"There's this new French Bistro that got fantastic reviews and there's a gallery opening in Town on Friday. So, if you want, we could have dinner, then go to the opening." She tells him hoping he'd like that stuff.

"Hmmm, Friday... wow." He voice didn't seem interested but Darcy was not proving Clint right.  
"Is that not a good time?" She asks keeping her voice upbeat.  
"Actually, Darcy, I think you might be kind of unsettled with the move and everything so I'm really not –"  
Clint after watching patiently which surprised her snatches the phone from her and hangs it up.

"What the hell are you doing?" she almost yells at him  
"Saving you. He was blowing you off." Clint tells her  
"He was not." She said sinking back into her chair then she moves to pick up the phone but Clint sits on the phone to stop her.  
"Don't! He'll be expecting you to call him back. When you don't, he'll call you." Clint tells her  
"How do you know?" she asks  
"Because I know men. If you want it to work out with this guy, you'll listen to me and do exactly as I say. You already did irreparable damage with your psycho-aggressive control freak phone call. It might even be too late. Even if you do salvage the situation, you'll probably never be more than Darcy, his desperate neighbour." Clint simply says offending her a little.

"I'm not desperate! Why, did I sound desperate?" she asks desperately  
"Listen to you - desperately asking me if you sound desperate." He says rolling his eyes  
Darcy gave him a concerned look as...the phone rings. Her caller I.D. says S.H.E.I.L.D MED.  
"Although you won't admit it, you know I know what I'm talking about." He whispers close to her ear  
The phone rings again and Clint looks into her eyes and says "It's your call, dude."

She thinks, and looks at the phone again...  
"Okay. What do I do?" she says and actually not believing she was going to let this asshole help her.  
"Pick up the phone and say: Hey, Doug." He says removing his ass from her table and back to the chair.  
"Why would I –"she starts but he quickly cuts her of.  
"Just do it." He says in an annoyed tone  
She answers the phone. And Clint puts the other one back to his ear.

"Hey, Doug." She says  
"No, this is Josh." Josh's voice come confused through her phone.  
"Oh my God. Sorry." She says fakely which earns a thumb up from Clint  
"Who's Doug?" Josh asks  
Clint leans in and whispers to her  
"Just a guy I'm seeing. It's nothing serious."  
She hesitates. Clint shoves her to get a move on.  
"Just a guy I'm seeing. It's nothing serious." She repeats into the phone  
"Oh." Josh says sounding a little upset through the phone. Clint leans in and whispers to her again "Hang on a sec."

"Hang on a sec." She repeats again. Clint puts the phone on hold.  
"What now?" she asks really confused and not sure if this is working at all.  
"Make him wait." Clint says after a long pause.  
"This is so rude." She says after about five seconds  
"That's the point." Clint says leaning in and looking her dead on in the eyes.  
"When do I pick up?" she says leaning in closer to him and looking him dead on in the eyes and noticing for the first time that they were a lovely greenly blue colour

"Never. You make him wait until he gets frustrated and hangs up. If he's still holding on after thirty more seconds, you may actually have a chance." Clint tells her  
"You'd better be right about this." She warns him  
"Think about it. Would you wait on hold for somebody you were trying to blow off?" he said as if it was simple  
"You have a point." She said defeated not able to find anything wrong with it.

"Just give me a little bit of time and I can make this guy your bitch." Clint said with a smug smile.  
GRRRR she hated that stupid smug smile.  
"I don't want a "bitch." And Josh would never be a bitch. He's a well-rounded man capable of mature emotions and deep abiding love. Things which you know not of." She scoffs at him  
"Maybe not, but I know about lust, seduction, and manipulation. And clearly, you do not." He bites back making his smug smile grow bigger.

"Why would you want to help me?" she asked the question that has been boggling her mind.  
"Because then you'll have to admit that I know more about this stuff than you do." He says smugly. They stare each other down. Then Clint looks at his watch.  
"Thirty seconds." Clint says and she looks at the phone time. Where the phone light was still blinking.

"My God, you're right. Now what?" she asks excitedly. Clint just hangs up the phone.  
"Always make an impression. Let's get out of here. We have work to do." He says suddenly standing and pulling her out of her chair and dragging her to the door  
"But what about –" she starts turning and point at the phone  
"Don't worry, in five seconds he'll call back." He said dismissing the question with his hand  
"What are you, Nostradamus? That's –" she starts saying skeptically but then he phone rings again.  
In awe of how he knew it would happen all she can say is "amazing." as he hustles her out of the room as fast as he can looking like Christmas has come early.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, or have any claim to the movies, comics etc most if not all the plot comes from, so anything you recognize I have no claim too._**

**_I am now writing this really fast and I can't tell if it's good or bad, I love this chapter because I love this scene in the movie it always makes me laugh and I hope I've done it justice._**

**_Also any ideas would be welcome and also who's your favorite avenger? mine is Tony Stark I just love him _**

**_I hope you enjoy and please review some feedback would be great. _**

She and Clint were walking down the street. He was explaining the "rules" of getting a guy to like her.  
"Rule number one. Never criticize." Clint starts of  
"Even if it's constructive?" she asks  
"Never. Men are incapable of growth, change or progress. For men, self-improvement ends at toilet training. Rule number two. Laugh at whatever he says." he goes off before she can asks anymore questions about "rule number one"

"What if what he's saying isn't funny?" She asks confused  
"That's irrelevant. A fake laugh is like a fake orgasm." he tells her  
"And a fake orgasm is good?" she asks getting even more confused  
"No, but a fake orgasm is better than no orgasm at all." he points out  
"A fake orgasm is no orgasm." She states  
"Only to you. You're not the only person in the room, you know. Let's not be selfish." He says it as a joke.

She giggles and Clint looks strucked by the sound of her laughter.  
"That was perfect. You have a perfect laugh. Real or fake?" he compliments her  
"You'll never know." She says walking past him into the coffee shop and she can see his reflection raise an eyebrow as though he's impressed  
They were waiting for their lattes and Clint was still going on about the rules.  
"Rule number three. Never talk about your problems. Men don't really listen or care." He says while taking the drinks from the coffee person who was staring at Clint like he was a rock star.

"Some men care." She says knowing she was right  
"No. Some men pretend to care. When we ask you how you're doing, it's just guy code for let me put my dick in your ass." He tells her while handing her the coffee  
"Okay, I'm trying to decide whether I should just walk away right now, or run." She says not sure whether or not she's joking  
"I know you think Josh is above it all, but he's a guy. If he's even remotely into you, he's thought about each one of your orifices at least ten times." He explains to her

"I love how you assume every man is as perverse as you are." She tells him with a fake smile  
"I don't assume. I know." He says smugly handing her the coffee  
They walk along the road with their coffee's while Clint receives some staring and pointing he ignores most of it and he does stop to talk to fans who want his autograph. They turn a corner and Clint tells her the next rule

"Rule number four. Men are very visual. Ninety per cent of a relationship is based on how good the woman looks. We have to change your look." He tells her while looking her up and down  
"What's wrong with my look?" she questioned offended by what he said  
Clint was Looking at her for a while obviously deciding how to phrase the answer.  
"Sports bras? Jeans? Srunchies? Fake Converse?" he points at her  
"These aren't fake! They're real!" she gasps

"Darcy, you're a very attractive woman but you are completely inaccessible. You're all about comfort and efficiency." He says grabbing her coffee and throwing it away before opening the door for her.  
"What's wrong with comfort and efficiency?" she asks while stepping into the shop  
"Nothing. Except no one wants to fuck it." He says close to her ear which makes her feel warm inside and she quickly snaps out of it because it shouldn't.

She and Clint wander through the racks of lingerie.  
"I am not getting breast implants." She tells him straight up because her boobs are big enough already they didn't need to go any bigger.  
"Size isn't everything. Breasts just have to be friendly. They have to say, "Hello, everybody! Look at me!" He tells her making a funny voice while hovering his hands in front of her boobs, which makes her giggle for a moment.

Then she looks down at her breasts, curiously.  
"What are mine saying?" she asked wondering if it was good or bad.  
"Uh, I'm reading Tolstoy and I don't want to be disturbed?" he tells her nodding his head then turning back to the bras  
"Really? I hate Tolstoy." She mumbles while trying to fix her top

A sales women passes them and Clint stops her.  
"Excuse me ma'am, but we need some bras that will make my friend's boobs say, "Put me in your mouth - I taste good."" He says not ashamed by his rudeness on bit.  
The saleswoman looks disturbed, but hands Clint a push-up water bra.  
"This should do the trick." The saleswoman says before walking off.  
"Sweet. Strap it on, flapjacks." He says throwing the bra at her. She just glares at him.

They were in the shoe shop next and she was awkwardly making her way over to Clint wearing high heels  
"I look like a hooker." She says looking at herself in the mirror  
"That's a good thing." He tells smiling at her.  
On the way back to sit down She falls, knocking over a large display of shoes.  
"Well, you're on your back, so that works." He laughs before walking off to talk to the saleswomen

She sits at a rinse chair, while Clint and the hairdresser study her look. Clint reaches out to touch her hair but she slaps his hand away.  
"You're not touching my hair until I know exactly what you're going to do with it." She warns him.  
"We're giving you bedhead." He says while putting his hands up in a mock surrender  
"Why would I want bedhead?" She asks confused  
"Bedhead is sexy." He says in what he must think is a seductive voice  
"A ponytail implies that you are either operating heavy machinery or emptying the litter box. Neither of these things inspires an erection." He explains  
The hairdresser shoves her head under the sink and douses her with water.

*_Clint's pov*_

They had made their way back to the tower and Darcy's room and he could she outside that Night has fallen and Darcy has been getting ready for two hours, Why did it always take women so long to get ready?

He sat in the sitting room while she was finishing off in the bedroom.  
"I just don't want to be perceived as a bimbo." She tells him through the door.  
"I don't want you to be a bimbo. You need to be two people, the saint and the sinner, the librarian and the stripper. It's a delicate balance. On one hand, you have to push the guy away with cold indifference and yet on the other hand be a sexually teasing tornado." He tells her honestly.

He hears the bedroom door open and Darcy enters, looking amazing in a little black dress and sling backs. Her hair and make-up are sexy but not trashy. He just looks at her not able to say anything gods she was so beautiful why she didn't see that was beyond him.  
"Well just don't sit there. Say something." Her voice breaks through his thoughts.

"Glasses." He finally manages to get out  
"Huh?" she asks looking confused, he loved when she looked confused it was cute.  
"You need glasses." He says again looking around the room looking for the glasses he knew she had.  
"But I wear contacts. Besides, doesn't the woman usually remove glasses during a makeover?" she asks  
"Yeah, but we're going for a stripper–librarian thing. Right now, I wouldn't trust you to find me a book." He tells her while smiling because it's the truth  
Darcy walks over to a drawer opens it and takes out some glasses. She puts them on. She looked even sexier but he wasn't gonna tell her that.

"Not bad. Now we need to practice flirting." He tells her thinking she had no idea what the word even meant.  
"I know how to flirt." She gasped and looking so cute, why did she always look cute.  
"Do you want to be an old maid?" he asked with a serious face  
"So, if I don't listen to you, I'll be an old maid?" she asks him looking smug for a change.  
"My name's Darcy and I'm arthritic and alone. I have eighteen cats who keep me company." He mocks acting old

"Oh, ha ha. That's very funny." She replies sarcastically. Then she turns around and mocks him which was a surprise  
"Are you wearing underwear?" She says in a deep voice while grabbing his ass.

"Come on! I wouldn't say that and I wouldn't grab ass." He says throwing his hands up in the air  
"Hey babe, what's wrong with a little ass grabbing?" she says still acting like him and continuing to pinch his ass  
"I mean what's the point of you even having one unless it's there for me to grab it? You're just a set of orifices and a pair of teetas." She says taking her hand of her ass.  
"You're a deeply, deeply disturbed person Darcy Lewis" he says with a laugh

But suddenly it like she switches into seductress mode, and starts tracing her finger up and down his arm.  
"Maybe I'm just a good student." She whispers getting closer to him  
"Would you stop doing that?" he asks trying not to let show he was getting turned on.  
"Doing what?" she asks innocently which was just so cruel  
"Touching me with your finger." He points at exactly what she's doing

Then she seductively leans into him.  
"Why? Am I turning you on?" she asks making her voice even lower than before

"Maybe." He says trying his best not to let it show which was really hard.  
She gives him a look and then says  
"Actually, I kind of like it."  
"Really..." he smiles at her and she leans in closer  
"Sucker." She says a wide smile growing on her face.

He shoves her away then holding his finger up tells her  
"No teaching the teacher." Then the doorbell rings

.

*_Darcy's pov*_

"Who is it?" she asks through the door while taking a step back from Clint, messing with his little brain had been fun.  
"It's Josh." Comes the voice back through the door.  
"Oh my God!" she whispers wide eyed at Clint  
"Told you he'd drop by." He smiles smugly again at her  
"I'm not ready for this. Am I? I'm not." She panicked at Clint.

"Calm down. Keep the conversation under a minute. Be mysterious. Keep him guessing." He tells her before leaping over the couch and to hide. She walks over to the door and opens it. Josh stands there looking amazing.  
"Oh. Hey." She says to him with a smile  
"Hi. Wow, you look great." Josh says looking her up and down. Twice!  
"Thanks." She says trying to sound aloof  
"What happened to you today?" he asks sounding worried

"What do you mean?" she asked trying to sound confused  
"You put me on hold and didn't call me back." Josh reminds her

"That was you? I'm so sorry." She says while pretending to look around  
"Can you call me later? I'm super busy." She tells him while hustling him out the door  
"Bye." She finishes closing the door  
Josh bangs on the door and his voice echoes back through it  
"Darcy wait..." he says  
While Clint pops up from under the couch and gives her the thumbs up.

"Now what?" she whisper's to Clint  
"Make him suffer." He whispers back.  
"Do you want to go the Lobos game on Saturday?" Josh's voice comes through the door  
She looks at Clint in amazement and then she can't help it she breaks into her happy  
dance. Clint watches, horrified at her spazziness.  
"What the hell is that?!" Clint asks clearly horrified at what he just saw.


End file.
